kristin has been a bad kristin
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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