i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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