worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
