I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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