My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
