hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
