how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
