oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I wish i was in the wii world.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
