now i know why i became what i already was.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
