I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
