Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
