There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
