True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
