So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
