i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
