PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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