adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
