Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize