I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Randomize