Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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