I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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