Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
