It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
