Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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