why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
this is an emotional support booty call
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize