Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
