Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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