Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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