u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm going to jail i love you
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
