he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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