i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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