that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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