He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
40s are totally the cure
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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