SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize