Jerry, you need to find god
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
