It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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