can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
