It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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