When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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