YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Randomize
