If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
