Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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