You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
