omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
