we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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