When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Randomize
