Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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