I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
