dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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