i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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