I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize