so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
