i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I'm both gender and math confused
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
