erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just gift wrapped bread.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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